Happy Caregiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  Before I share my day with you, I would like to preface today's story by telling you that what you are about to read contains some rather descriptive and disturbing rhetoric.  This is not meant to be anything other than the true, accurate, difficult aspects of Care giving.  This is a rare, but very real occurrence,  that Caregivers must deal with on occasion.  When I started this blog, one of my primary goals was to describe what a Caregiver goes through on a day to day basis when working with someone with Alzheimer's Disease.

Today as a family we were going to visit both my family and my wife's family for Thanksgiving.  My family was going to gather at my Cousin Scott's house, that was one hour and ten minutes away.  Scott just returned home three weeks ago from Afghanistan where he was serving our country in the U.S. Army Reserve.  His wife served at home anxiously awaiting his return with her daughter, one son a U.S. Marine that had already served a year in Iraq and a year in Afghanistan, while her oldest son is still active duty U.S. Navy.  I have not seen anyone in my extended family in over two years, my two brothers I have not seen since May.  My mother I have seen several times this year, so we were looking forward to getting together with them this year.  After we left their house, we were going to see my wife's side of the family which was gathering ten miles from where I live. 

We started stirring this morning around 6 AM, so that my three daughters, and wife could shower, dress, apply their war paint, I could shower and dress, and get Bill showered, dressed and ready for a 10 AM departure.  We were to arrive at my cousin's house at 11:15, and we were responsible for bringing drinks.  At approximately 10:30 this morning, Bill turned to me and said "I need you to stop at the next restroom, I have to go"!  O.K. I replied,  At the next light I turned to him and asked if he had to go One or Two.  "Two he replied."  The light turned green and I sped to the nearest restroom.  We stopped at the Shell Gas Station at the next exit and was able to get Bill out and into the store where we rushed to the restroom and stood in-line.   There was one man in the restroom, and another waiting, the woman's restroom was occupied and had three other ladies waiting to get inside.  

Waiting outside the restroom, the first man exited and the second man quickly went inside and locked the door.  Standing there,  I watched as Bill was showing signs of stress,  very much like how retail security feels when waiting to unlock the doors on Black Friday,  with thousands of customers pressing on the doors to grab those two televisions sets they advertised at the low low price of a dollar three ninety eight! Anxiously waiting, Bill turns to me and says "I hope I don't Shit myself"!  Yo, Mike!  We have a clean up on aisle three!

Finally the bathroom door opens, and Bill and I rush in,  he is turning to back up to the toilet, while trying to pull his pants down at the same time.  I am trying to undo his belt at the same time,  Now this is where I insert the very important aspect of dressing your charge appropriately.  I realize we are going to visit family on Thanksgiving, but there is no reason to dress him up in clothes that require allot of tying, buckling, snapping, and zipping.  Try aiming for the quick, slip on and slip off, easy in, easy out, bada bing, bada boom!  That is what I get for listening to the voices in my wife's head, I knew better and went against my own instincts.

With pants around his ankles and diaper almost to his knees, still standing, he announced it was too late,  and he was right.  With explosive diarrhea, he messed inside his diaper, outside his diaper, inside his pants,  outside his pants, all over his legs, shoes, and socks.  Diarrhea on the toilet seat, under the toilet seat, outside the toilet bowl and on the floor, yet NONE made it into the bowl.  Then he did what he went into the restroom to do, he sat down, right on the toilet seat, that was covered in poo.   Did I wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving yet?  I proceeded to try to remove Bills shoes, pants and diaper so I could proceed with the clean-up on aisle three. 

Forty Five minutes later after washing his pants in the bathroom sink, changing his diaper, cleaning him up with single ply Scott toilet tissue (a whole lot of it).  I also cleaned the bathroom of most of the mess, the best I could.  Bill was highly embarrassed and upset, he apologized to me several times,  the first time he apologized I said "that's OK, this is why I get paid the big bucks"!  He laughed and said "well even if you were getting paid, no amount of money is worth this"!  My reply "it's a Shitty job, but someone has to do it."  My wife who anxiously awaited our exit from the restroom managed to escort her father to the car with the utmost dignity, and grace they could muster.  I finished cleaning what I could, and wish to take this opportunity to give a shout-out to the gentlemen of the Shell station off of Arkadelphia Road for the use of their restroom, and Happy Thanksgiving.

Although we had the forethought to bring a clean diaper, we did not bring an extra set of clothes.  We then had to return home about 30 minutes away, so Bill could shower and change clothes.  We then proceeded to our second destination that went off without a hitch, however when we arrived back home, my wife did have to coax Bill out of the car because he said he did not live here, and would just wait in the car for us.  He has been living with us for 10 months now, once inside he stated the house was too small for all four of us to live in.  We have 6 people, 4 bedrooms, and 1 of the six goes to college, we gave her room to Bill.  

We did not get to see my family again this Thanksgiving, but did manage to make it to my wife's family gathering.  Although I did not get to visit my family I did have a Happy Thanksgiving and am very Thankful for all that God has blessed me with.  I am thankful for my family, I am thankful for all of my cousins safely returning home from war both from Iraq, and Afghanistan.  I am thankful for my wife, children, and father-in-law as well as the rest of my wife's family that I was able to visit today.  I am also thankful for all of you and hope you continue to read my blog and ask others to visit as well. 

I hope that you gather some helpful insights from this article so that you can plan for any unfortunate events.  Plan for the worst, Hope for the Best, and hopefully you will never be disappointed.  Because Shit Happens!