Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Before I share my day with you, I would like to preface today's story by telling you that what you are about to read contains some rather descriptive and disturbing rhetoric. This is not meant to be anything other than the true, accurate, difficult aspects of Care giving. This is a rare, but very real occurrence, that Caregivers must deal with on occasion. When I started this blog, one of my primary goals was to describe what a Caregiver goes through on a day to day basis when working with someone with Alzheimer's Disease.
Today as a family we were going to visit both my family and my wife's family for Thanksgiving. My family was going to gather at my Cousin Scott's house, that was one hour and ten minutes away. Scott just returned home three weeks ago from Afghanistan where he was serving our country in the U.S. Army Reserve. His wife served at home anxiously awaiting his return with her daughter, one son a U.S. Marine that had already served a year in Iraq and a year in Afghanistan, while her oldest son is still active duty U.S. Navy. I have not seen anyone in my extended family in over two years, my two brothers I have not seen since May. My mother I have seen several times this year, so we were looking forward to getting together with them this year. After we left their house, we were going to see my wife's side of the family which was gathering ten miles from where I live.
We started stirring this morning around 6 AM, so that my three daughters, and wife could shower, dress, apply their war paint, I could shower and dress, and get Bill showered, dressed and ready for a 10 AM departure. We were to arrive at my cousin's house at 11:15, and we were responsible for bringing drinks. At approximately 10:30 this morning, Bill turned to me and said "I need you to stop at the next restroom, I have to go"! O.K. I replied, At the next light I turned to him and asked if he had to go One or Two. "Two he replied." The light turned green and I sped to the nearest restroom. We stopped at the Shell Gas Station at the next exit and was able to get Bill out and into the store where we rushed to the restroom and stood in-line. There was one man in the restroom, and another waiting, the woman's restroom was occupied and had three other ladies waiting to get inside.
Waiting outside the restroom, the first man exited and the second man quickly went inside and locked the door. Standing there, I watched as Bill was showing signs of stress, very much like how retail security feels when waiting to unlock the doors on Black Friday, with thousands of customers pressing on the doors to grab those two televisions sets they advertised at the low low price of a dollar three ninety eight! Anxiously waiting, Bill turns to me and says "I hope I don't Shit myself"! Yo, Mike! We have a clean up on aisle three!
Finally the bathroom door opens, and Bill and I rush in, he is turning to back up to the toilet, while trying to pull his pants down at the same time. I am trying to undo his belt at the same time, Now this is where I insert the very important aspect of dressing your charge appropriately. I realize we are going to visit family on Thanksgiving, but there is no reason to dress him up in clothes that require allot of tying, buckling, snapping, and zipping. Try aiming for the quick, slip on and slip off, easy in, easy out, bada bing, bada boom! That is what I get for listening to the voices in my wife's head, I knew better and went against my own instincts.
With pants around his ankles and diaper almost to his knees, still standing, he announced it was too late, and he was right. With explosive diarrhea, he messed inside his diaper, outside his diaper, inside his pants, outside his pants, all over his legs, shoes, and socks. Diarrhea on the toilet seat, under the toilet seat, outside the toilet bowl and on the floor, yet NONE made it into the bowl. Then he did what he went into the restroom to do, he sat down, right on the toilet seat, that was covered in poo. Did I wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving yet? I proceeded to try to remove Bills shoes, pants and diaper so I could proceed with the clean-up on aisle three.
Forty Five minutes later after washing his pants in the bathroom sink, changing his diaper, cleaning him up with single ply Scott toilet tissue (a whole lot of it). I also cleaned the bathroom of most of the mess, the best I could. Bill was highly embarrassed and upset, he apologized to me several times, the first time he apologized I said "that's OK, this is why I get paid the big bucks"! He laughed and said "well even if you were getting paid, no amount of money is worth this"! My reply "it's a Shitty job, but someone has to do it." My wife who anxiously awaited our exit from the restroom managed to escort her father to the car with the utmost dignity, and grace they could muster. I finished cleaning what I could, and wish to take this opportunity to give a shout-out to the gentlemen of the Shell station off of Arkadelphia Road for the use of their restroom, and Happy Thanksgiving.
Although we had the forethought to bring a clean diaper, we did not bring an extra set of clothes. We then had to return home about 30 minutes away, so Bill could shower and change clothes. We then proceeded to our second destination that went off without a hitch, however when we arrived back home, my wife did have to coax Bill out of the car because he said he did not live here, and would just wait in the car for us. He has been living with us for 10 months now, once inside he stated the house was too small for all four of us to live in. We have 6 people, 4 bedrooms, and 1 of the six goes to college, we gave her room to Bill.
We did not get to see my family again this Thanksgiving, but did manage to make it to my wife's family gathering. Although I did not get to visit my family I did have a Happy Thanksgiving and am very Thankful for all that God has blessed me with. I am thankful for my family, I am thankful for all of my cousins safely returning home from war both from Iraq, and Afghanistan. I am thankful for my wife, children, and father-in-law as well as the rest of my wife's family that I was able to visit today. I am also thankful for all of you and hope you continue to read my blog and ask others to visit as well.
I hope that you gather some helpful insights from this article so that you can plan for any unfortunate events. Plan for the worst, Hope for the Best, and hopefully you will never be disappointed. Because Shit Happens!
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Alzheimer's Disease and Wandering
Alzheimer's Disease and Wandering:
Here is an outstanding article written by Bob DeMarco from the Alzheimers Reading Room
"_____________________________________
Wandering is among the most unsettling and even terrifying behaviors people with Alzheimer's disease display. Often poorly clad, they leave safety at random hours and strike out into unknown territory, for no apparent reason. But this seemingly aimless activity usually does have a reason. It's often an attempt to communicate after language skills have been lost.
_____________________________________"
Here is an outstanding article written by Bob DeMarco from the Alzheimers Reading Room
"_____________________________________
Wandering is among the most unsettling and even terrifying behaviors people with Alzheimer's disease display. Often poorly clad, they leave safety at random hours and strike out into unknown territory, for no apparent reason. But this seemingly aimless activity usually does have a reason. It's often an attempt to communicate after language skills have been lost.
_____________________________________"
Saturday, November 20, 2010
What's it like, living with Alzheimer's?
Well today is Saturday and we are having some nice weather, so here I am "Inside" writing in the blog! If it was cold and raining outside, I would want to be outside cutting grass. Is that what Alzheimer's like? Your body is doing one thing, while your brain is trying to do something else? Or wanting to do one thing, while your actually doing another? I think it is both Yes, and No! No, it is not quite like that, but Yes, it is almost as simple as that. OK Brian, you got me confused! Speak English, or Earthling, or something else we can understand.
Living with someone that has Dementia/Alzheimer's is very much like living with a normal person for the better part of the day. In the respect that there is normal behavior, and normal conversation for a good portion of the day. Then there is some off the wall, abnormal, unbelievable, confusing behavior. Which is what I mean by wanting to physically do something, while mentaly doing something else.
Well this confuses me, my first reaction is to say no, or to state that no one is here, or no that did not happen. That may or may not start an argument, or frighten Bill. So I pretend that his reality is real to me as well, and attempt to steer him away from the Hallucinations, or delusions by changing the subject, or distracting his attention. One day he started having a discussion with one of his sons that in my reality was not in our house. His son was ignoring him and would not answer him, Bill started getting madder and madder. He finally got up looked at me, and said come on, we're leaving, If the S.O.B. will not talk to me, then there is no use staying here. Bill then leaves the house and climbs into my truck. Now the problem is, we are at my house and his son was 30 miles away in his own home. So, I get into the truck, drive Bill down to the local gas station, Quick-It # 8 buy him a candy bar and drink, and go right back home to our house. By the time we made it home, he was back to my reality and had forgotten all about his son ignoring him. We drove two and a half miles down the road, two and a half back,
10 minutes had passed. It does not take much to distract, and ease the tension, all you need to do is change the environment long enough for them to calm down, and step back into your reality.
A hallucination is a false perception of objects or events involving the senses. When individuals with Alzheimer’s disease have a hallucination, they see, hear, smell, taste or feel something that isn’t there.
Delusional disorder, previously called paranoid disorder, is a type of serious mental illness called a "psychosis" in which a person cannot tell what is real from what is imagined. The main feature of this disorder is the presence of delusions, which are unshakable beliefs in something untrue. People with delusional disorder experience non-bizarre delusions, which involve situations that could occur in real life, such as being followed, poisoned, deceived, conspired against, or loved from a distance. These delusions usually involve the misinterpretation of perceptions or experiences. In reality, however, the situations are either not true at all or highly exaggerated.
When people suffering from Alzheimer's suffer Hallucinations, or Delusions they may think that you are a stranger trying to cause them harm, when in fact you are a loved one, trying to help them. This is what often causes Alzheimer sufferers to get violent and lash out. Hallucinations and delusions, are often what causes Alzheimer sufferers to wonder off. They think they are somewhere other than where they really are, or they think they are going towards a destination that only exist in their reality. The situations that stem from hallucinations and delusions are very dangerous not only to the Alzheimer victim, but to the Caregiver as well.
Living with someone that has Dementia/Alzheimer's is very much like living with a normal person for the better part of the day. In the respect that there is normal behavior, and normal conversation for a good portion of the day. Then there is some off the wall, abnormal, unbelievable, confusing behavior. Which is what I mean by wanting to physically do something, while mentaly doing something else.
- Bill will put a blanket down on the couch or bed, lie down on top of it, then try to cover up with it while its trapped underneath him.
- I will tell Bill to take off his shirt so I can shave him, I turn around, and he will be completely naked.
- I will tell Bill that we will drive into town "Tomorrow" and do something, he will go climb into the truck right then.
- He "Dips Snuff" he will attempt to take the lid off the can, but have it upside down. I will say Bill turn it over. He will spin it round and round in his hand. I will have to explain very carefully. "Bill, stop! now flip the can upside down" He will then flip it to where the lid is on top.
- We will walk somewhere, and I will lead him by the arm telling him to turn left, he will turn to the right, and no matter how hard I pull him to the left, and keep saying "this way Bill, this way." He will keep trying his hardest to pull and turn the opposite way.
- I put a plate of food down in front of him, he will look at my plate clear across the table, reach across the table and grab my plate. "I say no, your plate is in front of you!" He will look down at his plate say "Oh", then look back up at me, look across the table, lean across the table and grab my plate again.
- On a daily basis he will do one of the following, he will get up to go pee, open the front door, and pee on the porch. Get up to go spit outside, and spit in the hallway leading to the bedrooms. He will get up to go out on the front porch and end up in his bedroom wondering where the front door is. I have caught him several times trying to climb out of his bedroom window while trying to get to the front porch on the other side of the house.
Well this confuses me, my first reaction is to say no, or to state that no one is here, or no that did not happen. That may or may not start an argument, or frighten Bill. So I pretend that his reality is real to me as well, and attempt to steer him away from the Hallucinations, or delusions by changing the subject, or distracting his attention. One day he started having a discussion with one of his sons that in my reality was not in our house. His son was ignoring him and would not answer him, Bill started getting madder and madder. He finally got up looked at me, and said come on, we're leaving, If the S.O.B. will not talk to me, then there is no use staying here. Bill then leaves the house and climbs into my truck. Now the problem is, we are at my house and his son was 30 miles away in his own home. So, I get into the truck, drive Bill down to the local gas station, Quick-It # 8 buy him a candy bar and drink, and go right back home to our house. By the time we made it home, he was back to my reality and had forgotten all about his son ignoring him. We drove two and a half miles down the road, two and a half back,
10 minutes had passed. It does not take much to distract, and ease the tension, all you need to do is change the environment long enough for them to calm down, and step back into your reality.
A hallucination is a false perception of objects or events involving the senses. When individuals with Alzheimer’s disease have a hallucination, they see, hear, smell, taste or feel something that isn’t there.
Delusional disorder, previously called paranoid disorder, is a type of serious mental illness called a "psychosis" in which a person cannot tell what is real from what is imagined. The main feature of this disorder is the presence of delusions, which are unshakable beliefs in something untrue. People with delusional disorder experience non-bizarre delusions, which involve situations that could occur in real life, such as being followed, poisoned, deceived, conspired against, or loved from a distance. These delusions usually involve the misinterpretation of perceptions or experiences. In reality, however, the situations are either not true at all or highly exaggerated.
When people suffering from Alzheimer's suffer Hallucinations, or Delusions they may think that you are a stranger trying to cause them harm, when in fact you are a loved one, trying to help them. This is what often causes Alzheimer sufferers to get violent and lash out. Hallucinations and delusions, are often what causes Alzheimer sufferers to wonder off. They think they are somewhere other than where they really are, or they think they are going towards a destination that only exist in their reality. The situations that stem from hallucinations and delusions are very dangerous not only to the Alzheimer victim, but to the Caregiver as well.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
In Bill's Company
It seems like everyday Bill has an Alzheimer's moment, some funny, some sad, but all noteworthy. Problem is, that I seem to forget them from day to day, which makes it hard for me to dedicate a whole entry for it. So enjoy what tidbits I do write, and please feel free to comment and add to them.
Today Bill was sitting on the love seat on one end, and he had a pillow and blanket on the other end. He kept lifting up the pillow, putting it down, lifting up the blanket and put it down. He was obviously looking for something, I sat and watched him for approximately 10 minutes. He just kept repeating the same thing, lifting up the pillow, looking under it, picking up the blanket looking under it, rinse and repeat.
I finally asked, "Bill what are you looking for"? Well, I had a can I thought I put here, and I can't find it. "What was in that can Bill"? Well, I had some dirt and other stuff I had put in there, at least I thought I did. "What was the other stuff that was in the can besides dirt"? I asked. Just some dust and stuff I picked up and put in there, I think, but now I am not so sure!
Of course there was no can of dirt or anything. At least not in my reality.
Here we are 10 minutes later and Bill ask me. "Tell me one thing. What are we doing here"? Well, right now we are watching TV, I replied. "Besides that, what are we doing here"? Well we live here Bill. He does his nervous laugh and says "Well, maybe you do, but I don't live here." Now How can I argue with that? He has been living here for the better part of a year now, and I still have to remind him once a day that this is where he lives.
Today Bill was sitting on the love seat on one end, and he had a pillow and blanket on the other end. He kept lifting up the pillow, putting it down, lifting up the blanket and put it down. He was obviously looking for something, I sat and watched him for approximately 10 minutes. He just kept repeating the same thing, lifting up the pillow, looking under it, picking up the blanket looking under it, rinse and repeat.
I finally asked, "Bill what are you looking for"? Well, I had a can I thought I put here, and I can't find it. "What was in that can Bill"? Well, I had some dirt and other stuff I had put in there, at least I thought I did. "What was the other stuff that was in the can besides dirt"? I asked. Just some dust and stuff I picked up and put in there, I think, but now I am not so sure!
Of course there was no can of dirt or anything. At least not in my reality.
Here we are 10 minutes later and Bill ask me. "Tell me one thing. What are we doing here"? Well, right now we are watching TV, I replied. "Besides that, what are we doing here"? Well we live here Bill. He does his nervous laugh and says "Well, maybe you do, but I don't live here." Now How can I argue with that? He has been living here for the better part of a year now, and I still have to remind him once a day that this is where he lives.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
August 4, 2010 Six Nursing Home Employees Arrested
August 4, 2010
Six Nursing Home Employees Arrested for Shocking Prank on Elderly
It was announced this morning that six nursing home workers were arrested for playing a cruel prank on several residents at the Valley View Skilled Nursing Facility. According to a release from the California Attorney General's office, the employees applied a slippery ointment cream over the bodies of seven elderly nursing home residents to make them "slippery" for the oncoming shift. It is believed that the residents were selected because all suffered from advanced dementia, and could not object to the mistreatment.
"As part of a cruel and shocking prank, these caregivers abused defenseless elders," AG Jerry Brown said. "This is despicable behavior by people placed in a position of trust."
After an investigation by the California Bureau of Elder Abuse, the district attorney's office has filed a misdemeanor criminal charge against each employee for injury to elder or dependent adult; battery committed on elder or a dependent adult; conspiracy; and battery committed while on hospital property.
Please note that once again we charge these wonderful "Caregivers" with Misdemeanor's for their behavior.
Six Nursing Home Employees Arrested for Shocking Prank on Elderly
It was announced this morning that six nursing home workers were arrested for playing a cruel prank on several residents at the Valley View Skilled Nursing Facility. According to a release from the California Attorney General's office, the employees applied a slippery ointment cream over the bodies of seven elderly nursing home residents to make them "slippery" for the oncoming shift. It is believed that the residents were selected because all suffered from advanced dementia, and could not object to the mistreatment.
"As part of a cruel and shocking prank, these caregivers abused defenseless elders," AG Jerry Brown said. "This is despicable behavior by people placed in a position of trust."
After an investigation by the California Bureau of Elder Abuse, the district attorney's office has filed a misdemeanor criminal charge against each employee for injury to elder or dependent adult; battery committed on elder or a dependent adult; conspiracy; and battery committed while on hospital property.
Please note that once again we charge these wonderful "Caregivers" with Misdemeanor's for their behavior.
September 4th, 2010 Caregiver shows what caring is all about.
September 4th, 2010. Once again, another caregiver, offering loving care, to our elderly that can no longer defend themselves, but are unable to put voice to their treatment as well.
August 23, 2010 Elder Abuse by in home Caregiver
| Home aide abuses 91-year-old Jersey City woman |
This stupidity carried on multiple times a day from August 23rd, 2010 until August 29th, 2010. I really do not think there is anything else I can add without using totally inappropriate language!
Physical abuse of our senior citizens is the second most common form of elder mistreatment. Only neglect is more common. It is estimated that for every reported incident of elder abuse, five incidents are not reported. If you suspect that your loved one is a victim of elder abuse, contact authorities immediately. For various state hotlines, please visit the National Center on Elder Abuse website.
Friday, November 12, 2010
June 18, 2010 Nursing Home Abuse, Caught On Tape, Shows Vulnerability of Elderly To Neglect
Friday, June 18, 2010, 02:14 PM - Nursing Homes
Wonder what it is like to be an elderly resident of a nursing home and totally dependent on your care givers for help? Then watch this!November 11, 2010 Caregiver abuses Elderly Alzheimer Patient
This was deemed a Misdemeanor! A Misdemeanor? Your kidding me right? The Caregiver also claimed that she did not mean to harm her. Well then, what were you intending to do? Was this an act of Racism? Please give me your comments, I really would like to understand this.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Driving Mr. Bill down Memory Lane
One thing I have been doing with Bill since he moved in with us, is to constantly test his memory and recall. Trying to keep his mind active and alive is one of my main concerns. Now Bill only graduated the 9th grade, dropping out when he was 16 years old. Afterwards Bill spent the remainder of his life mostly as a laborer, hard labor, lifting and carrying heavy materials. So finding subject matter that I can quiz him on daily, and test his recall requires some investigative work on my part. One thing Bill knows about, and has enjoyed as a hobby most of his life is working on cars, and working on cars with one of his sons. So here I find myself researching an area I know very little about, and that is working on cars.
During my research I found a very comprehensive site that covers most every aspect of car repair, reliability of certain makes and models, as well as locations of auto repair shops in whatever area you happen to live, or travel in. Finding http://repairpal.com/ was a jackpot of information all on one site that I could research, learn, and share information, as well as quiz Bill on.
The other day, I asked Bill what was one of his biggest challenges while working on cars. He replied that changing a head-gasket was probably one of the toughest, and most frustrating jobs, he had to deal with when repairing cars. So being the super bright, intelligent, good looking guy that I am, I jumped on http://repairpal.com/ and looked up head-gaskets. You would never guess what I found! Well, Ok maybe you will! I found http://repairpal.com/head-gasket-replacement slap full of everything you need to know about changing a head-gasket. I was able to bring up the site, read about it, sit right here and discuss the changing of head-gaskets with Bill for a couple of hours. He was able to recall memories and information, discuss them, and I was able to follow along and ask questions. Through it all, I saw his spirits lift, his enthusiasm about life, and self esteem all rise due to this one topic.
A day later, Tuesday we drove into town, to vote for our favorite conservative candidates when we found a car for sale. Well this brought up the discussion of him working on several of the same make and models of that car, a car that was one of his sons favorite cars to repair and race in. When we arrived back at the ole' homestead we looked up http://repairpal.com/honda-civic-2001 . We found everything you need to know about the 2001 Honda Civic and more. This site had everything from problem reports, Q and A, Ratings and reviews, and recall information.
One thing I try to do on a regular basis is quiz Bill on geographic locations, city, states, country, places he has been, and information about them. Well, this morning while eating breakfast he asked what was on the agenda for today. My reply was that he was on his last pair of panties, and needed to go buy some. Panties is what we call his Diapers. He thought I said we were going to Los Angeles! "LOS ANGELES? We are going all the way to Los Angeles in your truck? What if it breaks down on us? I'm not walking all the way back from Los Angeles!" (We live in Alabama). "Why the Hell are we going to Los Angeles for anyway?" Going along with his misunderstanding, I told him that if we broke down, he could fix the truck since he knew so much about working on cars, and if that did not work then we would find a repair shop.
So, I pulled out the laptop, pulled up http://repairpal.com and immediately found http://repairpal.com/los-angeles-auto-repair . There I found tons of auto repair places, along with their addresses, websites, reviews, and a google map to there locations all in Los Angeles. Of course, I informed Bill that we were not going to Los Angeles, that in fact I said he was wearing his last panties, and we needed to go buy some. It then dawned on him that we were going to go buy diapers.
We are going to beat Alzheimer's Disease, it is not going to beat us. I hope that our experiences will in someway help you, in your daily struggles with Alzheimer's. Keep up the fight! As always, feel free to share your thoughts and comments with us.
Brian
During my research I found a very comprehensive site that covers most every aspect of car repair, reliability of certain makes and models, as well as locations of auto repair shops in whatever area you happen to live, or travel in. Finding http://repairpal.com/ was a jackpot of information all on one site that I could research, learn, and share information, as well as quiz Bill on.
The other day, I asked Bill what was one of his biggest challenges while working on cars. He replied that changing a head-gasket was probably one of the toughest, and most frustrating jobs, he had to deal with when repairing cars. So being the super bright, intelligent, good looking guy that I am, I jumped on http://repairpal.com/ and looked up head-gaskets. You would never guess what I found! Well, Ok maybe you will! I found http://repairpal.com/head-gasket-replacement slap full of everything you need to know about changing a head-gasket. I was able to bring up the site, read about it, sit right here and discuss the changing of head-gaskets with Bill for a couple of hours. He was able to recall memories and information, discuss them, and I was able to follow along and ask questions. Through it all, I saw his spirits lift, his enthusiasm about life, and self esteem all rise due to this one topic.
A day later, Tuesday we drove into town, to vote for our favorite conservative candidates when we found a car for sale. Well this brought up the discussion of him working on several of the same make and models of that car, a car that was one of his sons favorite cars to repair and race in. When we arrived back at the ole' homestead we looked up http://repairpal.com/honda-
One thing I try to do on a regular basis is quiz Bill on geographic locations, city, states, country, places he has been, and information about them. Well, this morning while eating breakfast he asked what was on the agenda for today. My reply was that he was on his last pair of panties, and needed to go buy some. Panties is what we call his Diapers. He thought I said we were going to Los Angeles! "LOS ANGELES? We are going all the way to Los Angeles in your truck? What if it breaks down on us? I'm not walking all the way back from Los Angeles!" (We live in Alabama). "Why the Hell are we going to Los Angeles for anyway?" Going along with his misunderstanding, I told him that if we broke down, he could fix the truck since he knew so much about working on cars, and if that did not work then we would find a repair shop.
So, I pulled out the laptop, pulled up http://repairpal.com and immediately found http://repairpal.com/los-
We are going to beat Alzheimer's Disease, it is not going to beat us. I hope that our experiences will in someway help you, in your daily struggles with Alzheimer's. Keep up the fight! As always, feel free to share your thoughts and comments with us.
Brian
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